Hot 106 #1: “The Joker”

Some time ago, in an effort to (futilely) improve “classic rock radio” that ultimately amounted to a lot of primal-scream-type-therapy, I came up with a list of 106 songs that should be banished to “classic rock hell” for all eternity. Being the most excellent stewards of rock that we are, my friend Kent Caudle (of Pirate George Letters fame) and I continue our efforts to replace said songs with much better alternatives.

Taking it from the top, today’s entry is all about the first song on that list: “The Joker” by Steve Miller. Kent jumps in by asserting his right to eschew Steve Miller altogether. I weigh in more diplomatically on this one.

Kent: Led Zeppelin – “Carouselambra”

When something is so lyrically inane that Mother Theresa and SCTV can not keep it from being removed from the list, you know it’s got to be bad. “Squeeze my lemon/’till the juice runs down my leg”? Scaldingly dirty. But “Really love your peaches/want to shake your tree”? Just confusing. She has a “tree”? That you “shake”? Plus, even Gerard Manley Hopkins and Terry Jones’ Forth Yorkshireman would have kept the article in the line “Ooh wee baby/I sure show you good time”. And I’m not even bringing up “pompetous”…

Let us teach Steve Miller a lesson by replacing “The Joker” with Led Zeppelin’s “Carouselambra”. The lesson? Stick with the keyboard stuff, hippie.

Jen: “Baby’s Calling Me Home”

I was very tempted to leave Steve Miller out to dry as well. His catalog is so overplayed that it’s like the classic rock version of Ron Jeremy’s cock: massive, once-impressive, but you can’t look at it now without thinking how worn out and old it is.

With that imagery out of the way, you should know that Steve Miller played at the Monterey Pop Festival. No foolin’. So how about we give “The Joker” the boot in favor of some of the stuff that got him a gig at Monterey: the jazzy harpsichord and acoustic guitar of “Baby’s Calling Me Home”, with its very Stephen Stills-like vocals?

Listening to this song does give one an idea of why Steve Miller was invited to play alongside people like Jimi Hendrix and the Byrds. The rest of Children of the Future is pretty standard San Francisco sound stuff, which is to say mostly jammy and bluesy (with the odd acid freakout/sound exploration track). You do get a sense of the “prog lite”, radio-friendly blues rock to come. “Baby’s Calling Me Home” stands alone as THE interesting acoustic track — melancholic, yet catchy enough to be on the radio. Best of all: Nobody would know it was Steve Miller!