106 songs of classic rock hell

Classic Rock Radio – is there anything more abhorrent?

Not long ago, I was enjoying a cold beverage at a local bar when a man gave a dollar bill to a digital jukebox. I was intrigued. What would he choose? He had literally hundreds of thousands of songs at his fingertips.

From all those songs, out of all those bands, out of all those albums, the b-sides, the obscure favorites that get a nice local pub hoppin’, this guy dialed in his choice. I was overcome with the vicarious hope only a pint of beer can bring.

His selection?

‘The Joker’ by Steve Miller.

There may have been tears in my beer at that moment – I will neither confirm nor deny the reports.

This random bar guy’s musical laziness got me to thinking. It’s obvious to me there are only 106 songs that are played by Classic Rock Radio. While I don’t personally understand why anyone would want to listen to the same 106 songs for 40 years, it’s clear that I am in the minority. These songs are played for a reason: most people can’t get enough of them.

To my ears, Classic Rock Radio is an affront to creativity and music in general, and I erroneously assumed my opinions would be echoed by those who were raised on vinyl and ‘deep album cuts’ radio. Especially so, in fact. (I…just don’t get you, Baby Boomers. I give up. I’m sorry. I’ve really tried.)

Just what are these 106 songs that I love to hate and everybody else in the United States just loves? Why, they make up the Late 2 the Party Musical Hit List! ™

Yeah, this kind of hit, but Don Henley gets whacked.

(In the interest of being a problem-solver instead of just a whiner, subsequent posts will be a “Listen to This, Not That” of 106 songs that should take their place. Suggestions are welcome for all lists.)

And now, in no particular order, the Late 2 the Party Musical Hit List:

1. The Joker – Steve Miller Band

2. Mrs Robinson – Simon & Garfunkel

3. Bad to the Bone – George Thorogood

4. Won’t Get Fooled Again – The Who

5. Stairway to Heaven – Led Zeppelin

6. Back in Black – AC/DC

7. Horse with No Name – America

8. Light My Fire – The Doors

9. La Grange – ZZ Top

10. Hotel California – The Eagles

11. Margaritaville – Jimmy Buffett

12. China Grove – Doobie Brothers

13. Don’t Bring Me Down – ELO

14. Who Are You – The Who

15. Don’t Stop Believin’ – Journey

16. Freeride – Foghat

17. Miss You – Rolling Stones

18. Hey Jude – The Beatles

19. Saturday in the Park – Chicago

20. Born to Be Wild – Steppenwolf

21. Hot for Teacher – Van Halen

22. Sultans of Swing – Dire Straits

23. Time in a Bottle – Jim Croce

24. White Room – Cream

25. Goodbye Stranger – Supertramp

26. Benny and the Jets – Elton John

27. Another Brick in the Wall – Pink Floyd

28. Carry on My Wayward Son – Kansas

29. Satisfaction – Rolling Stones

30. More Than a Feeling – Boston

31. Crocodile Rock – Elton John

32. Dust in the Wind – Kansas

33. Freebird – Lynyrd Skynyrd

34. Crazy on You – Heart

35. Stuck in the Middle with You – Stealers Wheel

36. Life in the Fast Lane – The Eagles

37. Money – Pink Floyd

38. Brown Eyed Girl – Van Morrison

39. You Really Got Me – The Kinks

40. You Really Got Me – Van Halen

41. One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer – George Thorogood

42. Old Time Rock and Roll – Bob Seger

43. Wheel in the Sky – Journey

44. American Pie – Don McLean

45. Bad Company – Bad Company

46. Night Moves – Bob Seger

47. Sweet Home Alabama – Lynyrd Skynyrd

48. Born to Run – Bruce Springsteen

49. Don’t Fear the Reaper – Blue Oyster Cult

50. Tush – ZZ Top

51. Imagine – John Lennon

52. Get Back – The Beatles

53. Crazy Train – Ozzy Osbourne

54. Heartbreaker/Livin’ Lovin’ Maid – Led Zeppelin

55. Cum on Feel the Noize – Quiet Riot

56. We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions – Queen

57. Heart of Gold – Neil Young

58. Here I Go Again – Whitesnake

59. Feels like the First Time – Foreigner

60. Piano Man – Billy Joel

61. Layla – Derek and the Dominoes

62. Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door – Guns ‘n’ Roses

63. Like a Rolling Stone – Bob Dylan

64. Start Me Up – Rolling Stones

65. Message in a Bottle – Police

66. Radar Love – Golden Earring

67. Fooling Yourself – Styx

68. Dude Looks like a Lady – Aerosmith

69. Just What I Needed – The Cars

70. Gimme Three Steps – Lynryd Skynyrd

71. You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet – Bachman Turner Overdrive

72. Lonely is the Night – Billy Squier

73. Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap – AC/DC

74. You’re My Best Friend – Queen

75. Take it Easy – The Eagles

76. Somebody to Love – Queen

77. Take the Long Way Home – Supertramp

78. Dream Weaver – Gary Wright

79. Pour Some Sugar on Me – Def Leppard

80. White Wedding – Billy Idol

81. Refugee – Tom Petty

82. Bang a Gong – T Rex

83. Runnin’ with the Devil – Van Halen

84. I Want You to Want Me – Cheap Trick

85. Magic Carpet Ride – Steppenwolf

86. Already Gone – The Eagles

87. Can’t Get Enough – Bad Company

88. Go Your Own Way – Fleetwood Mac

89. Summer of ’69 – Bryan Adams

90. It’s Only Rock ‘n’ Roll – Rolling Stones

91. Walk This Way – Aerosmith

92. Running on Empty – Jackson Browne

93. Come Sail Away – Styx

94. Suzy Q – Credence Clearwater Revival

95. Southern Man – Neil Young

96. Turn the Page – Bob Seger

97. Rebel Yell – Billy Idol

98. Don’t Stop – Fleetwood Mac

99. School’s Out – Alice Cooper

100. Pink Houses – John Mellencamp

101. Comfortably Numb – Pink Floyd

102. I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll – Joan Jett

103. The Boys Are Back in Town – Thin Lizzy

104. Takin’ Care of Business – Bachman Turner Overdrive

105. Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For – U2

106. I Can’t Drive 55 – Sammy Hagar

BONUS: 107. Band on the Run – Paul McCartney & Wings

BONUS: 108. Tom Sawyer – Rush

BONUS: 109. Touch of Grey – Grateful Dead

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There are 6 comments for this article
  1. Pingback: Listen to This, Not That: “Won’t Get Fooled Again” | Late 2 The Party
  2. Pingback: Hot 106 #1: “The Joker” | Late 2 The Party
  3. Pingback: Hot 106 #2: “Mrs. Robinson” | Late 2 The Party
  4. Pingback: Hot 106 #5: “Stairway to Heaven” | Late 2 The Party
  5. Pingback: Hot 106 #6: “Back In Black”, AC/DC | Late 2 The Party

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